This piece comes from one of my own spiritual journals and was inspired by the oft-times bewilderment that befuddles my decision making. For lack of a more descriptive word, I labeled it Confusion, and discovered today that I should have called it The Consistency of Confusion, so here it is in its new label. I hope it will be of some benefit to you and that you will learn as I continue to learn that conversation with God (sometimes recognized as prayer) is the route to pursue the remedy for all things, but in particular the path of confusion.
As an introduction let me quote a well-known man in the field of Spirituality who seems to have a very practical handle on eschatology (the study of future things). Of course at this moment the future for which we are most interested, is our own. For this reason I give you this very practical but wise statement by minister and author Philip Yancy. "A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse."
Confusion Even though we attempt to live by faith amplified by commitment, there is always some measure of confusion to work through in making a decision. And even as knowledge slowly trickles into our thinking, confusion, like an unwelcome guest, remains. Which way should I move, up, down or sideways? This is to assume (1) that there are both pros and cons to each path, and that (2) I have yet to seek counsel from above.
At times, I glimpse the path on which I have set my heart (and my feet), but then I acknowledge there have also been many times when I have guessed wrong. I have learned, therefore, that guessing is the wrong tool to use. My brain suddenly tells my heart why this can happen, God holds the roadmap! 'But we both agree on my destination' I plead, 'isn't that what it takes to get to the destination?'
This is correct, (as far as it goes) but there is more. While we agree on the destination, I would choose the smoothest path while He has many other roads in mind of which most are difficult, sometimes complicated and confusing. Aha! That word again!
Now for the most difficult (and confusing) decision of all. While each of God's roads in their own way would provide me with something of what would be needed, that provision would not be as productive as beginning with the difficult and learning as progress is made toward your goal.
If this is the decision to which you feel God is showing you, then what steps are most important at this point? (1) talking with God (prayer) a) give thanks and praise for His interest and His help b) go over the advantages you see and ask Him if you have missed any c) point out the disadvantages you see and do not see (2) praise God again (3) thank God for the Spirit within, your Helper and your Guide
Just the fact of putting such a need on paper is helpful to me, but then I am a writer. I would urge you to find your own path, such as the use of comparisons, studying the pros and cons, studying to gain wisdom which helps enormously in making decisions, but never leave God out of the equation. Sometimes even reading or quoting specific verses of calming belief and praise of the Father can help you to regain some balance on the decision at hand. I wish you the best.
In closing, I offer you one more quotation, this one from a Christian man in politics and education, William Barclay. These are his words "Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory." Wow! Now that's a challenge. Best wishes as you make progress to your goal.